the angel.

What is this?
What am I?
Becoming like someone with new sight
Seeing it all for the first time

Amazement makes my eyes
Glitters with hope
Sparkles with anticipation
I see what is going on around me

I dream

Words are falling out
Making myself known
One giant step for me
What do you see in me?

I see
An angel
Hope for the day that is here
My song

I went looking for a miracle
Looking in obvious dismay
Up and Down in the wrong direction

Thinking it to late
I'm to far gone in the wrong direction
Tap tap on the shoulder

I see my angel
My hope

It was you

The Pages

I keep my life in a book
Call it a
Journal
Diary
Notebook
Whatever you want

I call it my lifes work
I write everything down
My thoughts
My dreams
And randomocity it seems

But it truly does hold my dreams
shaking them loose from my guarded mind
Finding their way to people in time

One day it could be on the shelves
Selling itself
But nobody really knows
Not even I
Because it might go unread till the day I die

Its my heart
My soul
My mind

On the pages I buy time
Make it like I never did before

All you ever wanted to know
Is here
Broken binding
Torn and stained pages
In this book

You'll find me

Almost New

You make me feel guilty
For living
Crushed beneath the wheel
Burnt by the flame
I always feel that I'm to blame

Trying so hard
Swimming against a current
Screaming for help
You drown me in shame

Locked inside
No key to fit the door
The house is burning
To the floor

Mad
At myself

Because you make me feel guilty
For living
It's true

Forever beautifully broken
Far from
Almost new

Amazingly You and Me

What were you thinking
Silly little girl
No time to pout
Change is upon you

Devastation came
It went
Standing up for yourself
Saying no
Choosing where you want to go

Smiles now outnumber
Frowns are rarely from the people
Now
Your light is back

They see it
And realize you were telling the truth
You found someone
Its odd to you how

Different
Life can be
Amazing

Just Like
You and Me

The Reality of this Romance

School bell rings
Go out turn my phone on
Dial his number
He actually answers

"Are you at home?"
I ask
"Yeah."
He answers
"Ok. Well bye."
I hang up

Drive down the road
No caution in the wind
Drive up the driveway.

He meets me outside
I say nothing
Embrace him
Enjoy the moment

I dont know how long it will last
"I miss you"
"I know you want her and won't stop"
"I want you, and I won't stop"
"I couldnt live with out you knowing"
The words fall out like rain from the clouds

Shocked
Speechless
I'm walking away
He grabs me

Kiss me
He kisses me
I kiss back
We are both understood

Thats it the end

School bell rings
Go out turn my phone on
Dial his number
He dosn't answer

Drive down the road
Sitting at home
Wishing he and me
Could be

Reality

ghost of a girl

Ghost Girl
She can't find her body
Follow the screams
Ecstasy and Pleasure
She knows better
Running from the truth
Of her actions
Forbidden the touch is
Searing and Electric alike

Ghost
Knows what is real
Screams of pain
Begs for it to stop
Waits for it to end
Fears what is happening
The mistake

Girl Ghost
I gasp
Back in my corpse
Living but dead inside
Its over
Now I feel the pain
Physical yes..but no
Emotionally I am barely alive

Girl
Alive on the oustide
Dead on the inside
My night as a ghost
Tore her apart

making sense of this romance

Outside of my window
A melody filters into my ears
Memories playing like a favorite film
Of yesterday

I close my eyes
Release the tears
Turn my head thinking I can see

Your hurting me was
Unintentional
But how could you not know
Or understand that
Your the only thing that makes sense to me

Still to this moment
I know that is true
I'm singing along
To this tune made of all that is me and you

One step and I take a look and see that you are indeed
Outside of my window with your radio
Trying to make sense of this thing we have
One million songs could have hummed through my mind

But it was that one
So its time for us to decide
Where we are now
Together or apart

Till death do us part
I do
Live this Romeo and Juliet type of
Undefined romance
With you
The only thing that will ever make sense to me

Without

Where were you?
Why didn't you come?
What was your reason?...
It better be good.
It was much less fun without you.

My reason

Thats stupid.
You just didn't want to go.
Here look at these pictures.
You would have fun.
You should have came.

Yeah.
I see.
Smiles...
Happiness...
Joy...
And I wasn't there.

So don't tell me.
What you already know is classifying you a
Hypocrite.
Because I know what you know

You had fun without me.
Being there wouldn't have changed anything.
So why care now?
Because in the end...
It would have been the same.

With or
Without...
Me

Leading Me

Its an amazing thing
This little life I'm gifted
Each day no matter what
I think about it all

Family that loves me
Has my back no matter what
They want to see me happy
As simply complicated that just is

Friends that keep me insane
That help me laugh
That want to be there even though I'm truly horrible
They know my darkest of secrets
But I know they can be trusted to keep them

Times might get rough
Discouraging life may get
Times like those I have to sit
Take a moment to remember what's great

Remember that God gifted me another day
To figure it out
Live for the right reason
Do what he bids

I have a purpose
I know what I must do
Be true to myself
And know that God is leading me through

Content Loner

Each day I wake up not wanting to go to school...and its not because I just don't want to.
I hate wasting all these beautiful days inside....I wouldn't mind if I wasn't confined to such a area where I can be myself but I am judge by my opinions.

I use to dread going to school for the first few weeks because I didn't have anyone to hang out with..but when I did I found myself more confined than I did when I was alone. I didn't know why I felt this way, and it drove me insane almost every night since school started I've cried myself to sleep trying to figure out things about myself.

After a while of thinking...a near death experience...a good sleep...and a nice day, I realize why I felt that way. I am content with being a loner in atmospheres like school, because I want to be classified as me. Not as them. In a place where someone walks in and try to figure out what group you are in. I am my own person, and I want to be seen as that.
I have my close and good friends who get that, and I don't mind being classified with them but we are all different enough in personality that we are considered a group of different people.

I'm not saying that I'm against meeting new people, because I love making new friends, but I'm better at on on one convo because its a chance to get to know somone and them to get to know you without the influence of the rest of the crowd...and vice versa.

Today, I got told that I intrigue someone to the point of confusion. I was called different, because I believe something and I believe it on my own accord, and that I look confident being a "loner."
I use to despise that, being classified.
But after recent reflection...I can say at this point I am proud to be considered a "loner."
Content with myself. And my life.

Don't be

My passion
Did it does it scare you
I cant help it
Its in my blood

I let it spill out
Hoping it will get people to understand
That all of the things I say are
Real within me

Day after day
I go on hoping
That you mean it when you say
"I get it."

I only hope that when I tell you this
You wont run
They all run
I'm just hoping you won't be just
Another face in the crowd

You're my connection
That opposite side
Who doesn't have to be told twice
Don't dissapoint me

Don't be just like
Them

The Magic 8 Ball

Hanging upside down off the edge of the couch
You're on the floor, twisting my hair
Sends shivers down my spine
You tell joke
I laugh

Magic Eight ball held promise this night
Simple fun
My realizing game
You ask a question, and so do I
Little did we know
Our questions were bound together

I won't tell
Neither will you
We argue for hours
That's nothing new

Tag you're it!
I nearly fall down your voice rings
"You cant catch me."
I made a deal
So did you

If I catch you
I will tell you
You will tell me
What we asked the Eight Ball
What made us go weak in the knees

Ah Ha!
I did it.
You are down for the count.
Silly boy.
I caught you, and I have the bruise to prove it.

Sitting on the couch you and I.
This moment is electric.
My head is on your shoulder, and our hands are warm together.
Blowing in my face you tickle my nose with mint.
We become closer.

The brush of lips we barely touched.
Our revealed questions aren't new.
It should be a crime for us to do that much.

Because the morning comes, and the sun rises.
We go back to our living device.
Both with knowing in our eyes.
Dry mouths we turn around and walk away.

I am taken by him.
You are taken by her.
Both good people we don't deserve.
How could we have the nerve?

Truth became of that night.
A truth we haven't soon forgot.

The Magic Eight Ball knew all.
Does he love me? I asked a simple question.
Does she love me? He asked a simple question.
Both met with the same blinding ittle white letters.
It simply said yes.

Her

I'm not her
That girl
The one of your
Dreams

Keep me awake
These thoughts of you
Screaming
Profane things

Plauge my mind
My distorted self-image
Anyting but
Fine

I want you to know
You guessed
I said
No!

Because I knew
You don't want me

You will never
Want me

If you ever do
Want me

You will never
Tell me

So I cry
Because I'm still
Believing
I'm not

Her

Why I Write

What do I do?
I'm so confused
How can I do the things I do
To you

I'm only spilling my heart out
On paper
I'm best revealed
To you

Misinterpreting design
So you can't tell
I'm speaking to you
Directly to you

What about now?
My mind is blind with want
My future is a design not yet created
In the works

For now I just write
Hoping
Praying
That these word are
Understood

Not by the masses
By myself
To you I hopefully write

Why, do, say

Why waste time with the nerves
Why waste time with the doubts
Why waste time waiting

Do it before you forget what you were doing
Do it before you chicken out
Do it before its to late
Do it before she walks away

Say what you want
Say what you mean
Say everything

Play, Dance, Act

Where did that hope go?
It went with her name
I want the whole satisfaction
of knowing that you said mine instead
I want to be your hope
your relief

I walk with my head down
Playing for a fool
Dancing in the rain
Acting insane
Thinking of life before you came

I tap to the beat sing
Standing on two own feet
Trying to catch the eye
The beautiful one
Who sees me for me
Everyday you speak to me
I keeping growing weak

I walk with my head level
Playing for a fool
Dancing in the rain
Acting insane
Thinking of life the day you came

Its my time hope I do it right
The lyrics in my head
I hear you say my name instead?
Shock becomes me
I say it
I sing it
I mean it
All for you
I want to be your hope
Because you've become mine

So

I walk with my head high
Seeing whats inside
I play for a fool
Dance in the rain
Act insane
Think of life
My life everyday with you

Love Song Tale

With every lyric of this song
I think of how you held me close
And how you did nothing but look me in the eyes
How you seemed so sincere
Every lyric of this song
Makes me remember that one moment in time
With you
When all stood still and it was
You and I
Each lyric of this song makes me remember the moment I realized that
I was In Love with you
Because every lyric of this song makes me think about how every
Stupid little argument
Silly joke and
How Everything
Everything
Made me love you

In The Broken Mirror

I speak so highly
of a person to the others
to only have them
come and dissapoint me
shatter my soul and
tangle my heart strings
wow so this is what i get
when i look after you
I guess I was in over my head
with words I didnt know to
pronounce
so now
we all look in the
broken mirror
I
the others
a person
and see broken images
of us
I see a fool
the others see a fool
a person sees a fool
look who's laughing now

Never Before Seen

It doesn't sting
Like is should
I'm fine
It feels good
I smile out of pure happiness
To fret over it is to
Regret
I regret nothing
At one point it was exactly
What I wanted
Sparing a new tone
I say the lyrics
And hope
One day
One how
One way
One person
The person comes along
To complete
The song
I'm looking for a
Not so ever after
I'm looking for a
Never Before seen in theatres
Kind of romance
So let's make the headlines
Top the charts
And show them how a
True love
Story
Starts
Because in reality not all things come to an
End