see the place where you use to live

That is when we know. Know what?,you ask. Everything. When life as you know it ends,that is when you will know the answer to everything,the answer to any question you may have in life. Now, I am not pretending to be a teen profit,or some guru that has all the answers with a zen tone of voice,and I am just telling it like i see it,know it, believe it,feel it.

Life is funny, you know. We have so many questions that go mostly unanswered everyday,wether it be from lack of being heard,or lack of having the nads to ask, it happens. I know that if I aske a question, it is always my fault...always. And I usually,most of the time,take the blame. But then I never ask the one thing that is on my mind, "if the answer to the question I just asked you is me,then what about what you asked me? Is the answer you? Or am I to take the blame for that as well?" We are typically creatures of the unfortuante thing, that if something happens to us,then it is our doing....no one else but ourself can do anything about it.

I don't know why I rattled on about the first part, like I still am, but trust me I will eventually,after a converstation about biscuts, and something else I will eventually get back on the road I intended. But I must take this journey through the woods before I get back to the interstate.

All of this thought was brought up to me by myself, by the words of someone,which were said to me..."but I can't trust you like I use to..." Why not? I made a mistake,similar to ones I have made since I was born,and the ones I will make until I die? Because I usually see trust as a yes or no thing...and when maybe comes into play then things must be complicated. But since I tend to trust everyone, then I might not be one to even speak on the subject. Because I am still the same exact person I was before, a little more broken,and what have you, but....why is this happening now? The trust seemed to have left far before I ever did what I did,I did what I could.I did, what I wanted, because it seemed to fillthe hole left by the already misplaced trust,it seemed to. It is my fault, but. I don't know. An I am sure a pshychological evaluation of my mind would be able to reveal to you the meaning of what I am really trying to say,but I can't get that right now. I still trust you, with my life, even if you loose all trust in me eventually. I do trust you. I say yes. Just sayin.

Good new my new years resolution "wait for it" I am still going strong on keeping it. In my eighteen years of living I have never done that.

I am watching Death Becomes Her. This is the movie that was watched the evening "The Book" came about, came to life. A time when things were simple,complicated,life. At that point things were great, like a sisterhood. Still now thinking back, I would love to make a screenplay, and eventually a movie about "The Book." The things that happened,the things that were said,and the girls that it is about. But I haven't seen the book since beginning of my senior year in high schoo, and I don't know if it is even still in existance. But I hope to sometime get it in the natural rotation of things,and begin the work from idea to screen. With permission from the other 3 ladies involved.

-Paige

"You sit there in your heartache waiting on some beautiful boy, to save you from your old ways,you play forgivness,watch it now, here he come,he dosen't look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman like you imagined him...when you were young."