Is it silly?

Is it silly that I think I look good when I wake up most mornings?
Is it silly that music makes up most of my day anymore?
Is it silly that I have low self-esteem,yet secretly think I am awesome?
Is it silly that I really do wish I could go back and tell my younger self what to do so I wouldn't have so many regrets now?
Is it silly that I believe I have undiagnosed SAD,and think anything unusual going on with my body is cancer?
Is it silly that I won't settle for anything that does not make me happy?
Is it silly that I am unimpressed by fame in person?
Is it silly that I like to wake up slow, no matter what time of day I wake up?
Is it silly that I can sleep anywhere,but I have a before bed ritual for everywhere?
Is it silly that I know my family won't care that I have a new tattoo,but I still find it necessary to hide it from them?
Is it silly that I don't fear death in the slightest?
Is it silly that small moments in my life are the most memorable,and large events are the most forgotten?
Is it silly that I always turn my spoon upside down in my mouth before taking another bite when I eat ice cream?
Is it silly that I am sad about the fact I feel like I will never be good enough for her to talk to,like she did my other friend?
Is it silly that I feel alone in crowded rooms?
Is it silly that I feel more at home in other people's home rather than my own?
Is it silly that no matter how many people tell me I won't do it, I still think I can?
Is it silly that I know I am a screw up,and don't care?
Is it silly that I want people to read this...my whole blog...so they can get to know me better?
Is it silly to dream?
Is it stilly to imagine?
Is it silly?
I don't think so.
But then again,I am silly.

I Can Do It

You can do it!

It won't happen!

So many mixed signals. All sent to me by those people who I should count on for support full on. But ever since my dreams,goals,and what not have become "unrealistic" "hard to get to"; those people no longer support me in the way they once did.

I have all the faith in myself to accomplish what I want in life.

I know i can do it!

Even if they don't...

Even if i have to encounter failure on the rise to my success in life.

I know I can do it!

To some, I am just a girl...I am a girl...true.

But I am not just a girl...I am Shawn Paige Turner...I am a talented,quixotic,amazingly quirky,beautiful on the inner and the outer,dream until the stars refuse to shine girl.

No matter what they say.

This is what I say...this is me.

My dreams.

My hopes.

My wishes.

You don't have to believe in me, just like they.

But I have to believe in my self.

So to me...

"You can do it!"

So can you.

The Chest That Holds The Treasure

When things come to rest, it suppose to feel like peace,and inner calm that shows on the outer. Life can suck, or seemingly suck,but someone always has it worse than you. All the whining in the world will not change that.
Things can change.
People can change. Even if it does not seem that way,it is as true as ever. Maybe its them maturing,or the chance that one just decided something different that totally changed their life.
I don't believe in hate, but being human holds me to being a hypocrite sometimes...which leads me to confess that I do at times express...bleed hate.
But with a little music (All you need is love,don't you know its gonna be alright) I am brought back down to Earth; to realize that I will be fine,they will be fine,we will all be fine...the actions of so many seconds ago suddenly appear nonexistant.
Happiness is a warm gun,makes sense to only some of the most intent and insightful of people;typiccaly Beatles fans.
But what is happiness really? To me its a total content feeling with life,and myself...for the most part.
What is it to you? I don't know.
You can tell your reasoning or keep it to yourself,it is your secret to keep.
And if you don't believe that happiness is and existing thing...then I am truly sorry. But I hope that you look at your life...really look...really think. I hope you find it.

"I could be happy with all the money and possesions that I could ever want. But I also know I cold be happy living in my car or on the street. Its not about the treasure in the chest,but about the chest that holds the treasure."

Reality Alternate

Sitting wrong side up on the couch

Feet dangling in the sky

Tears let not the plants die

Forgiveness came at midnight-noon

Mailed the letter to P.O. Box

Nowhere important

Where someone important

Reads "To whom it may concern"

The men of dreams?

Always present in the ladies mind

That is where their dreams tend to reside

"Dreams come true"

Could be considered fairy tale

But it just looks like reality to me

When our mind's image

Comes to life

little things

This little thing
Invitation to "hang out"
This little thing
Being mentioned in the conversation
This little thing
A drive with the windows down
This little thing
Swinging on the swingset, together, in perfect sync
This little thing
Being spoken to directly by name
This little thing
Riding in the back seat of the "hot car"
This little thing
Sitting next to him
This little thing
Meeting someone new
These little things
Made the day
Thanks to you

can't forget regret

Drip
Drop
The sound of rain
Like the sound of tears
Letting out the pain
Showing all my fears
All the wasted years
I wish that you were near
But I know you will never hear
I'm sorry my dear
My words falter to the darkness
This empty room
Hears nothing but the regret
Something you may
Some things I can never
Forget

POV

Incorporate that song
Listen it
Feel it
Believe it
Make me want to
Do The same
Lets us soar not
On wings of eagles
But…
On the backs of pigeons
Seeing the world
In a different light
Believing that all things
are possible
Even from the strangest
Smallest
Point of view
Let the melody guide
Us…